A Grim Welcome


my name is Oliver Clean, and for the last 500 years I’ve been stranded on an Island, with only one goal: Survive!

And what an ambitious goal it was, to survive for five hundred fucking years!

Yet I did. I’ve overcome rains, storms, sunburns, wild animals, wild sex dreams (it can get lonely on an island, ye know…)

And after 500 years of solitude, self-hardening, and boredom, I have achieved a state of Nirvana.

Suddenly, I had all these super-powers:

  • To smell bullshit from 500 miles away.1
  • To shoot mental arrows into the timelines and see what becomes of that bullshit.2
  • To wield my pen better than a sword.3

But the most kick-ass super-power: I can look really grim!

Yes, ma’am! My look alone is punishment!

Hm… That last sentence didn’t come out right. I actually have a rather pleasant appearance. Which is why I need dark make up and a hood to awe. But I’m digressing.

Anyhow… Here I am. Shaped and hardened by the very tides of nature, I’ve discovered my life’s mission:

To clean this city of corruption, deception, and hypocrisy - using nothing but a pen.4

Which city?

Every city!

My name is Oliver Clean, and I am The Grim Arrow.

  1. That’s right! One mile for every year spent on that island! I fucking deserve it! 

  2. Oh yeah! There is some serious quantum-level flux capacitor shit going on there! 

  3. But then, I’m no good with the sword, so this is less of a point. However I decided I need 3 bullet points here, so suck it up. 

  4. And a keyboard. And a tablet. And the Internet. But not a sword, or a bow.